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Food » rec.food.cooking » Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled
| Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289388] |
Di, 11 Juli 2006 01:00 |
|
Sandra asks us if we ever wondered if we wanted to have the BBQ grill taste
inside. Well, no, I can't say I have. Why is SLop dressed like Mrs Brady?
Apparently this week's theme is "cowgirls", because when we think "BBQ", we
think "cowgirl". We can see you're grabbing your recipe box (mmm, dirty!),
SLop. You don't need to expositionate it! Oddly enough, her recipe box this
week "wears" a belt which is identical to the one she's wearing. She rattles
off her menu (which includes "waldorf slob") and with a bottle and her recipe
box in hand, we bop into the opening credits.
Roll the opening credits! "I've been cooking and entertaining since I was a
kid" Bwah! I wonder if she used to serve kiddie cocktails?
SLop enters stage right and sets the bottle on the stovetop and her box on the
counter, asking "Isn't my recipe box adorable?". Not really. It looks like
you. She goes to the friedge and retrieves the wings and a carton of
buttermilk.
SLop empties a whole container of buttermilk (nothing more specific, but that
looked like a one quart carton, at least) into a large mixing bowl. But this
is not just buttermilk, it's LOWFAT buttermilk! She adds hot sauce (tobasco
sauce, actually) and a packet of buffaloo wing seasoning before whisking it
togther. She tells us it will help tenderize the wings. Do chicken wings
REALLY require tenderization? She uses a pair of tongs to put the wings into
the bowl, one or two at a time, advising us to make sure they are completely
covered by the liquid. She tells it they need to be covered and saved in the
fridge for two or three hours. SLop now uses cling wrap with the little cutter
on the box. Give her a cookie.
SLop starts her "waldorf slop" by emptying a bag of cole slaw mix into a large
mixing bowl. She tells us to cut up some green apples, then corrects herself
by specifying Granny Smith. I was wondering how one would get unripe apples at
the store. She slices about an inch off the one side of the apple before
discarding it, then tells us to cut them into bit-size pieces, as large or
small as you like and you don't even have to peel them.
For a dressing for the salad, SLop mixes her favorite mayo and poppy seed
dressing, telling us that the mayo makes it even thicker and richer and
sticky. "Sticky?" That poppy seed stuff liked thick and sticky on its own.
Eww. She dumps this mixture into the bowl. She then adds about half a bag of
walnuts and starts to toss the salad with tongs, but ends up stirring the mess
with her tongs. As she stirs, she tells us that one nromally adds the dressing
right before it is served, but we want the dressing to wilt the lettuice a
little bit in order to infuse the salad with the flavour of the dressing. She
tells us to cover the salad with cling wrap and leave it in the fridge for
about an hour or two before serving it. Once again, SLop uses that box with
the cutter on the edge of it.
SLop then announces that she needs to "masturbate... her strawburries" for her
special shortcake. She hulls five berries, slices them into 1/4s, and puts
them into a bowl. She instructs us too sprinkle a little bit of sugar onto
thwm, but there is clearly much more sugar than berries in the bowl (to the
point that you can barely see them), and stirs the mixture with a spatula. As
we bop out to commercial, we see a MV shot of the shortcake. Hey! They look
like what Brycer made with Aunt Sandie once! I am quite certain she's made
this whack-a-dough biscuit with cool whip concoction before as well.
The for that new show with Boobie Flay confuses me. If he is going door to
doot challeneging people at cooking their specialty, why is there a scene in
which he's saying something out loud like "I'm in over my head with this. I
need some help"? That's not much of a contest if he gets to call in help, is
it?
When we return from commercial, SLop removes her wonderful amazing bowl of
wings that were soaking in the fridge with this crazy Kimber look in her eyes.
Calm DOWN, woman! She sets the bowl on the counter and starts working on the
orange teryaki ribs by mixing tangerine juice and two packets of ginger
teryaki dressing, telling us it's full of wonderful spices like ginger,
teryaki, sugar, and marin, a wonderful sweet Japanese cooking wine. In a
seasoning packet? She decants the marinide over some pork babyback ribs in a
glass backing dish and covers it with cling wrap before putting them into the
fridge to marinade for about three hours. As she puts the ribs into the
fridge, she reminds us that we can cook these on a grill too if we wished.
Suddenly remembering she was making chicken wings, she goes back and removes
the wings and places them onto a foil-lined baking sheet. Sandra apparently
pays attention to those "Patty and Velma" Reynolds Aluminum ads while cribbing
ideas from other FN shows and tells us that using the foil saves on cleanup
and keeps the wings from sticking to the sheet. She puts them under the
broiler. She advises us to make sure they are well-coated and puts them uder
the broiler for 15 minutes and to turn them occasionally so they don't burn
up.
SLop next makes a vegtablew cru-detay by dumping some celery sticks into a
bowl, and slicing a cucumber with a diagnoal cut to to make lonnng slices. She
claims english cucumbers are seedless, but we can clearly see seeds in the
slices as she cut them. SLop makes a quick dipping sauce for the veggies by
dumping a bottle of blue cheese dressing into a bowl and sprinkling some blue
cheese on top to make it look homemade. Who the hell puts blue cheese on blue
cheese dessing?
She puts the salad into a platter, at which point we dissolve to MV's salad as
SLop exclaims "Yummy! Yummy! I can't wait to put that in my tummy!". We
dissolve back to SLop removing the cling wrap and looking for a spoon as she
dumps it onto the platter. A voice over tells us they will taste great with
the wings that need to cook for a bit longer. SLop then announces that 15
minutes have passed and her wings are done. She retrieves the wings from the
oven and starts to put them onto a serving platter. As she plates the wings we
get a weird voice over about how "BTW, you can use whole chicken if you wanted
to, like legs and thighs and such -- BREASTS", at which point the voice over
abruptly stops. WTF? As she finishes plating the wings, We bop out to
commerical.
When we return from commercial, SLop announces that she's going to make her
wonderful shortcake but first she has to put the ribs into the oven. She says
she put the marinades ribs onto a baking sheet but they are clearly on a
draining rack. She put the remaining marinade into a saucepan and tells us to
bring it up to heat before using it on the cooked ribs but doesn't explain
why. Meanwhile, we cut to a shot of the pan, it contents at a hard boil. She
covers the ribs with foil and puts them into the broiler for about an hour at
350 degrees, mentioning that you could also cook them on the grill if you
wanted that charcoal flavour, but since they're cooked in the oven, you're
stuck with the juices in the meat and thusly have to cook slowly.
She then dumps a cup of tangerine juice and a bottle of BBQ sauce into the pan
and stirs it with a spatula. During the close up shot of her stirring the
sauce, a loud sizzling noise can clearly be heard. Sandra then begins to work
on her shortcake. She's done this several times already with whack-a-dough.
She makes cinnamon sugar because the biscuits are savory, not sweet. In
another bowl she mixes sour cream and a tub of incognito Cool Whip ™,
admonishing us to fold it, but she is clearly stirring it. She bisects the
biscuits, "dredges" the cut edge through the cinnamon sugar, puts dollops of
the cream mixture on them, "dredges" the tops through the sugar and tops them,
making in effect a Cool Whip biscuit sandwhich. She then puts another dollop
on top and dribbles on some strawberry juice, making sure none of the
strawberries exit the bowl with a fork, lastly garnishing each with one slice
of berry. Oddly enough they look nothing like the MV ones we saw coming in
from commercial. She retrieves the ribs from the broiler with a "whoot" and
bastes the beige ribs with the heated marinade sauce. She puts them back
uncovered for 45 minutes and threatens us with a mocktail as we bop out to
commercial.
When we return from commercial, SLop giddily announces "It's cocktail time!
Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic.
Alcoholism, yay! Slop puts ice into a pitcher and adds a carton of frozen
lemonade concentrate and then adds some water she boiled ginger with. She then
tells us to add one part vodka, two parts ginger ale and some of the ginger
water. She seems to be adding the same amount of vodka and ginger ale, but is
sparing with the ginger broth (about 1/2 a cup I reckon), telling us to save
some for the next pitcher (alcoholism, yay!). She tells us she loves these
cocktail glasses, but they look like wide wine flutes to me. Her choking
hazard for this drink is a lemon slice. She tells us this mocktail goes
perfect with the tangerine teriyaki ribs and invites us to check out her
tablescape with some smart topiary ideas.
SLop staggers a few feet away to the tablescape. It's so cluttered I cannot
see anything, but I know there are no topiaries. We should consider ourselves
lucky; she'd probably had stuck riblets into it as a sort of serving piece or
something. She tells us how she hot-glued some rope into coils to use as place
settings. These coils, btw, appear to be nearly one foot across and about an
inch thick. She demonstrates how to glue the end of them down, nearly
forgetting to remove the masking tape she put on the tip to keep it from
unwinding and fraying, apparently. She warns us not to glue our fingers to the
rope. Personal experience, perhaps? She stacks a large diner plate, salad
plate, and tops it with a folded napkin that she used tiny clothespins to
secure the edges together, because gawd knows she isn't capable of doing that
right. Because everyone loves a cold beer, she and put everyone's beer bottle
into a glass bug mugs with bottle openers hanging from the bottle with a
leather shoe lace. She pimps her receipes on the FN site and closes out the
show with a "Keep it simple Keep it sweet and Keep it smart". Heh.
--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
|
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289408 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 14:38 |
|
I thought you spelled it "Homade" in the past on purpose.
Ubiquitous wrote:
> Sandra asks us if we ever wondered if we wanted to have the BBQ grill tas=
te
> inside. Well, no, I can't say I have. Why is SLop dressed like Mrs Brady?
> Apparently this week's theme is "cowgirls", because when we think "BBQ", =
we
> think "cowgirl". We can see you're grabbing your recipe box (mmm, dirty!),
> SLop. You don't need to expositionate it! Oddly enough, her recipe box th=
is
> week "wears" a belt which is identical to the one she's wearing. She ratt=
les
> off her menu (which includes "waldorf slob") and with a bottle and her re=
cipe
> box in hand, we bop into the opening credits.
>
> Roll the opening credits! "I've been cooking and entertaining since I was=
a
> kid" Bwah! I wonder if she used to serve kiddie cocktails?
>
> SLop enters stage right and sets the bottle on the stovetop and her box o=
n the
> counter, asking "Isn't my recipe box adorable?". Not really. It looks like
> you. She goes to the friedge and retrieves the wings and a carton of
> buttermilk.
>
> SLop empties a whole container of buttermilk (nothing more specific, but =
that
> looked like a one quart carton, at least) into a large mixing bowl. But t=
his
> is not just buttermilk, it's LOWFAT buttermilk! She adds hot sauce (tobas=
co
> sauce, actually) and a packet of buffaloo wing seasoning before whisking =
it
> togther. She tells us it will help tenderize the wings. Do chicken wings
> REALLY require tenderization? She uses a pair of tongs to put the wings i=
nto
> the bowl, one or two at a time, advising us to make sure they are complet=
ely
> covered by the liquid. She tells it they need to be covered and saved in =
the
> fridge for two or three hours. SLop now uses cling wrap with the little c=
utter
> on the box. Give her a cookie.
>
> SLop starts her "waldorf slop" by emptying a bag of cole slaw mix into a =
large
> mixing bowl. She tells us to cut up some green apples, then corrects hers=
elf
> by specifying Granny Smith. I was wondering how one would get unripe appl=
es at
> the store. She slices about an inch off the one side of the apple before
> discarding it, then tells us to cut them into bit-size pieces, as large or
> small as you like and you don't even have to peel them.
>
> For a dressing for the salad, SLop mixes her favorite mayo and poppy seed
> dressing, telling us that the mayo makes it even thicker and richer and
> sticky. "Sticky?" That poppy seed stuff liked thick and sticky on its own.
> Eww. She dumps this mixture into the bowl. She then adds about half a bag=
of
> walnuts and starts to toss the salad with tongs, but ends up stirring the=
mess
> with her tongs. As she stirs, she tells us that one nromally adds the dre=
ssing
> right before it is served, but we want the dressing to wilt the lettuice a
> little bit in order to infuse the salad with the flavour of the dressing.=
She
> tells us to cover the salad with cling wrap and leave it in the fridge for
> about an hour or two before serving it. Once again, SLop uses that box wi=
th
> the cutter on the edge of it.
>
> SLop then announces that she needs to "masturbate... her strawburries" fo=
r her
> special shortcake. She hulls five berries, slices them into 1/4s, and puts
> them into a bowl. She instructs us too sprinkle a little bit of sugar onto
> thwm, but there is clearly much more sugar than berries in the bowl (to t=
he
> point that you can barely see them), and stirs the mixture with a spatula=
.. As
> we bop out to commercial, we see a MV shot of the shortcake. Hey! They lo=
ok
> like what Brycer made with Aunt Sandie once! I am quite certain she's made
> this whack-a-dough biscuit with cool whip concoction before as well.
>
> The for that new show with Boobie Flay confuses me. If he is going door to
> doot challeneging people at cooking their specialty, why is there a scene=
in
> which he's saying something out loud like "I'm in over my head with this.=
I
> need some help"? That's not much of a contest if he gets to call in help,=
is
> it?
>
> When we return from commercial, SLop removes her wonderful amazing bowl of
> wings that were soaking in the fridge with this crazy Kimber look in her =
eyes.
> Calm DOWN, woman! She sets the bowl on the counter and starts working on =
the
> orange teryaki ribs by mixing tangerine juice and two packets of ginger
> teryaki dressing, telling us it's full of wonderful spices like ginger,
> teryaki, sugar, and marin, a wonderful sweet Japanese cooking wine. In a
> seasoning packet? She decants the marinide over some pork babyback ribs i=
n a
> glass backing dish and covers it with cling wrap before putting them into=
the
> fridge to marinade for about three hours. As she puts the ribs into the
> fridge, she reminds us that we can cook these on a grill too if we wished.
>
> Suddenly remembering she was making chicken wings, she goes back and remo=
ves
> the wings and places them onto a foil-lined baking sheet. Sandra apparent=
ly
> pays attention to those "Patty and Velma" Reynolds Aluminum ads while cri=
bbing
> ideas from other FN shows and tells us that using the foil saves on clean=
up
> and keeps the wings from sticking to the sheet. She puts them under the
> broiler. She advises us to make sure they are well-coated and puts them u=
der
> the broiler for 15 minutes and to turn them occasionally so they don't bu=
rn
> up.
>
> SLop next makes a vegtablew cru-detay by dumping some celery sticks into a
> bowl, and slicing a cucumber with a diagnoal cut to to make lonnng slices=
.. She
> claims english cucumbers are seedless, but we can clearly see seeds in the
> slices as she cut them. SLop makes a quick dipping sauce for the veggies =
by
> dumping a bottle of blue cheese dressing into a bowl and sprinkling some =
blue
> cheese on top to make it look homemade. Who the hell puts blue cheese on =
blue
> cheese dessing?
>
> She puts the salad into a platter, at which point we dissolve to MV's sal=
ad as
> SLop exclaims "Yummy! Yummy! I can't wait to put that in my tummy!". We
> dissolve back to SLop removing the cling wrap and looking for a spoon as =
she
> dumps it onto the platter. A voice over tells us they will taste great wi=
th
> the wings that need to cook for a bit longer. SLop then announces that 15
> minutes have passed and her wings are done. She retrieves the wings from =
the
> oven and starts to put them onto a serving platter. As she plates the win=
gs we
> get a weird voice over about how "BTW, you can use whole chicken if you w=
anted
> to, like legs and thighs and such -- BREASTS", at which point the voice o=
ver
> abruptly stops. WTF? As she finishes plating the wings, We bop out to
> commerical.
>
> When we return from commercial, SLop announces that she's going to make h=
er
> wonderful shortcake but first she has to put the ribs into the oven. She =
says
> she put the marinades ribs onto a baking sheet but they are clearly on a
> draining rack. She put the remaining marinade into a saucepan and tells u=
s to
> bring it up to heat before using it on the cooked ribs but doesn't explain
> why. Meanwhile, we cut to a shot of the pan, it contents at a hard boil. =
She
> covers the ribs with foil and puts them into the broiler for about an hou=
r at
> 350 degrees, mentioning that you could also cook them on the grill if you
> wanted that charcoal flavour, but since they're cooked in the oven, you're
> stuck with the juices in the meat and thusly have to cook slowly.
>
> She then dumps a cup of tangerine juice and a bottle of BBQ sauce into th=
e pan
> and stirs it with a spatula. During the close up shot of her stirring the
> sauce, a loud sizzling noise can clearly be heard. Sandra then begins to =
work
> on her shortcake. She's done this several times already with whack-a-doug=
h=2E
> She makes cinnamon sugar because the biscuits are savory, not sweet. In
> another bowl she mixes sour cream and a tub of incognito Cool Whip =99,
> admonishing us to fold it, but she is clearly stirring it. She bisects the
> biscuits, "dredges" the cut edge through the cinnamon sugar, puts dollops=
of
> the cream mixture on them, "dredges" the tops through the sugar and tops =
them,
> making in effect a Cool Whip biscuit sandwhich. She then puts another dol=
lop
> on top and dribbles on some strawberry juice, making sure none of the
> strawberries exit the bowl with a fork, lastly garnishing each with one s=
lice
> of berry. Oddly enough they look nothing like the MV ones we saw coming in
> from commercial. She retrieves the ribs from the broiler with a "whoot" a=
nd
> bastes the beige ribs with the heated marinade sauce. She puts them back
> uncovered for 45 minutes and threatens us with a mocktail as we bop out to
> commercial.
>
> When we return from commercial, SLop giddily announces "It's cocktail tim=
e!
> Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphi=
c=2E
> Alcoholism, yay! Slop puts ice into a pitcher and adds a carton of frozen
> lemonade concentrate and then adds some water she boiled ginger with. She=
then
> tells us to add one part vodka, two parts ginger ale and some of the ging=
er
> water. She seems to be adding the same amount of vodka and ginger ale, bu=
t is
> sparing with the ginger broth (about 1/2 a cup I reckon), telling us to s=
ave
> some for the next pitcher (alcoholism, yay!). She tells us she loves these
> cocktail glasses, but they look like wide wine flutes to me. Her choking
> hazard for this drink is a lemon slice. She tells us this mocktail goes
> perfect with the tangerine teriyaki ribs and invites us to check out her
> tablescape with some smart topiary ideas.
>
> SLop staggers a few feet away to the tablescape. It's so cluttered I cann=
ot
> see anything, but I know there are no topiaries. We should consider ourse=
lves
> lucky; she'd probably had stuck riblets into it as a sort of serving piec=
e or
> something. She tells us how she hot-glued some rope into coils to use as =
place
> settings. These coils, btw, appear to be nearly one foot across and about=
an
> inch thick. She demonstrates how to glue the end of them down, nearly
> forgetting to remove the masking tape she put on the tip to keep it from
> unwinding and fraying, apparently. She warns us not to glue our fingers t=
o the
> rope. Personal experience, perhaps? She stacks a large diner plate, salad
> plate, and tops it with a folded napkin that she used tiny clothespins to
> secure the edges together, because gawd knows she isn't capable of doing =
that
> right. Because everyone loves a cold beer, she and put everyone's beer bo=
ttle
> into a glass bug mugs with bottle openers hanging from the bottle with a
> leather shoe lace. She pimps her receipes on the FN site and closes out t=
he
> show with a "Keep it simple Keep it sweet and Keep it smart". Heh.
>
> --
> WARNING!!!
> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
> assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
> "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
> where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss L=
ee.
|
|
|
| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289416 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 15:19 |
|
- WTF is with the stoopid cowboy boot vase on the windowsill?
- The Kool Whip hit the bowl with a very audible "PLOP!" LOL
- Great. Another "Tower Of Doom" dessert. Can you possibly stack that shite any
higher?
- Speaking of the dessert - whack-a-dough makes its comeback! Yay! And no lame
piping bag 'trick', Snady? I guess the check from the Baggies people must have
bounced.
- The KA has found a new home I see. No longer banished to the corner.
- All ingredients for the 'food' are carefully measured, but the booze? Free
pouring all the way. Yep, that's our Sandy! *HIC*
- Yeah - we're going to spend all of our time hot gluing rope - ROPE! - to make
freaking PLACEMATS?! WTF? I'd rather save some work and buy them from
Fidalgo's.....wait, check that...
In article <2vWdnWlNq6sViyvZnZ2dnUVZ_vudnZ2d [at] comcast.com>, weberm [at] polaris.net
wrote:
>
>
>Sandra asks us if we ever wondered if we wanted to have the BBQ grill taste
>inside. Well, no, I can't say I have. Why is SLop dressed like Mrs Brady?
>Apparently this week's theme is "cowgirls", because when we think "BBQ", we
>think "cowgirl". We can see you're grabbing your recipe box (mmm, dirty!),
>SLop. You don't need to expositionate it! Oddly enough, her recipe box this
>week "wears" a belt which is identical to the one she's wearing. She rattles
>off her menu (which includes "waldorf slob") and with a bottle and her recipe
>box in hand, we bop into the opening credits.
>
>Roll the opening credits! "I've been cooking and entertaining since I was a
>kid" Bwah! I wonder if she used to serve kiddie cocktails?
>
>SLop enters stage right and sets the bottle on the stovetop and her box on the
>counter, asking "Isn't my recipe box adorable?". Not really. It looks like
>you. She goes to the friedge and retrieves the wings and a carton of
>buttermilk.
>
>SLop empties a whole container of buttermilk (nothing more specific, but that
>looked like a one quart carton, at least) into a large mixing bowl. But this
>is not just buttermilk, it's LOWFAT buttermilk! She adds hot sauce (tobasco
>sauce, actually) and a packet of buffaloo wing seasoning before whisking it
>togther. She tells us it will help tenderize the wings. Do chicken wings
>REALLY require tenderization? She uses a pair of tongs to put the wings into
>the bowl, one or two at a time, advising us to make sure they are completely
>covered by the liquid. She tells it they need to be covered and saved in the
>fridge for two or three hours. SLop now uses cling wrap with the little cutter
>on the box. Give her a cookie.
>
>SLop starts her "waldorf slop" by emptying a bag of cole slaw mix into a large
>mixing bowl. She tells us to cut up some green apples, then corrects herself
>by specifying Granny Smith. I was wondering how one would get unripe apples at
>the store. She slices about an inch off the one side of the apple before
>discarding it, then tells us to cut them into bit-size pieces, as large or
>small as you like and you don't even have to peel them.
>
>For a dressing for the salad, SLop mixes her favorite mayo and poppy seed
>dressing, telling us that the mayo makes it even thicker and richer and
>sticky. "Sticky?" That poppy seed stuff liked thick and sticky on its own.
>Eww. She dumps this mixture into the bowl. She then adds about half a bag of
>walnuts and starts to toss the salad with tongs, but ends up stirring the mess
>with her tongs. As she stirs, she tells us that one nromally adds the dressing
>right before it is served, but we want the dressing to wilt the lettuice a
>little bit in order to infuse the salad with the flavour of the dressing. She
>tells us to cover the salad with cling wrap and leave it in the fridge for
>about an hour or two before serving it. Once again, SLop uses that box with
>the cutter on the edge of it.
>
>SLop then announces that she needs to "masturbate... her strawburries" for her
>special shortcake. She hulls five berries, slices them into 1/4s, and puts
>them into a bowl. She instructs us too sprinkle a little bit of sugar onto
>thwm, but there is clearly much more sugar than berries in the bowl (to the
>point that you can barely see them), and stirs the mixture with a spatula. As
>we bop out to commercial, we see a MV shot of the shortcake. Hey! They look
>like what Brycer made with Aunt Sandie once! I am quite certain she's made
>this whack-a-dough biscuit with cool whip concoction before as well.
>
>The for that new show with Boobie Flay confuses me. If he is going door to
>doot challeneging people at cooking their specialty, why is there a scene in
>which he's saying something out loud like "I'm in over my head with this. I
>need some help"? That's not much of a contest if he gets to call in help, is
>it?
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop removes her wonderful amazing bowl of
>wings that were soaking in the fridge with this crazy Kimber look in her eyes.
>Calm DOWN, woman! She sets the bowl on the counter and starts working on the
>orange teryaki ribs by mixing tangerine juice and two packets of ginger
>teryaki dressing, telling us it's full of wonderful spices like ginger,
>teryaki, sugar, and marin, a wonderful sweet Japanese cooking wine. In a
>seasoning packet? She decants the marinide over some pork babyback ribs in a
>glass backing dish and covers it with cling wrap before putting them into the
>fridge to marinade for about three hours. As she puts the ribs into the
>fridge, she reminds us that we can cook these on a grill too if we wished.
>
>Suddenly remembering she was making chicken wings, she goes back and removes
>the wings and places them onto a foil-lined baking sheet. Sandra apparently
>pays attention to those "Patty and Velma" Reynolds Aluminum ads while cribbing
>ideas from other FN shows and tells us that using the foil saves on cleanup
>and keeps the wings from sticking to the sheet. She puts them under the
>broiler. She advises us to make sure they are well-coated and puts them uder
>the broiler for 15 minutes and to turn them occasionally so they don't burn
>up.
>
>SLop next makes a vegtablew cru-detay by dumping some celery sticks into a
>bowl, and slicing a cucumber with a diagnoal cut to to make lonnng slices. She
>claims english cucumbers are seedless, but we can clearly see seeds in the
>slices as she cut them. SLop makes a quick dipping sauce for the veggies by
>dumping a bottle of blue cheese dressing into a bowl and sprinkling some blue
>cheese on top to make it look homemade. Who the hell puts blue cheese on blue
>cheese dessing?
>
>She puts the salad into a platter, at which point we dissolve to MV's salad as
>SLop exclaims "Yummy! Yummy! I can't wait to put that in my tummy!". We
>dissolve back to SLop removing the cling wrap and looking for a spoon as she
>dumps it onto the platter. A voice over tells us they will taste great with
>the wings that need to cook for a bit longer. SLop then announces that 15
>minutes have passed and her wings are done. She retrieves the wings from the
>oven and starts to put them onto a serving platter. As she plates the wings we
>get a weird voice over about how "BTW, you can use whole chicken if you wanted
>to, like legs and thighs and such -- BREASTS", at which point the voice over
>abruptly stops. WTF? As she finishes plating the wings, We bop out to
>commerical.
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop announces that she's going to make her
>wonderful shortcake but first she has to put the ribs into the oven. She says
>she put the marinades ribs onto a baking sheet but they are clearly on a
>draining rack. She put the remaining marinade into a saucepan and tells us to
>bring it up to heat before using it on the cooked ribs but doesn't explain
>why. Meanwhile, we cut to a shot of the pan, it contents at a hard boil. She
>covers the ribs with foil and puts them into the broiler for about an hour at
>350 degrees, mentioning that you could also cook them on the grill if you
>wanted that charcoal flavour, but since they're cooked in the oven, you're
>stuck with the juices in the meat and thusly have to cook slowly.
>
>She then dumps a cup of tangerine juice and a bottle of BBQ sauce into the pan
>and stirs it with a spatula. During the close up shot of her stirring the
>sauce, a loud sizzling noise can clearly be heard. Sandra then begins to work
>on her shortcake. She's done this several times already with whack-a-dough.
>She makes cinnamon sugar because the biscuits are savory, not sweet. In
>another bowl she mixes sour cream and a tub of incognito Cool Whip ™,
>admonishing us to fold it, but she is clearly stirring it. She bisects the
>biscuits, "dredges" the cut edge through the cinnamon sugar, puts dollops of
>the cream mixture on them, "dredges" the tops through the sugar and tops them,
>making in effect a Cool Whip biscuit sandwhich. She then puts another dollop
>on top and dribbles on some strawberry juice, making sure none of the
>strawberries exit the bowl with a fork, lastly garnishing each with one slice
>of berry. Oddly enough they look nothing like the MV ones we saw coming in
>from commercial. She retrieves the ribs from the broiler with a "whoot" and
>bastes the beige ribs with the heated marinade sauce. She puts them back
>uncovered for 45 minutes and threatens us with a mocktail as we bop out to
>commercial.
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop giddily announces "It's cocktail time!
>Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic.
>Alcoholism, yay! Slop puts ice into a pitcher and adds a carton of frozen
>lemonade concentrate and then adds some water she boiled ginger with. She then
>tells us to add one part vodka, two parts ginger ale and some of the ginger
>water. She seems to be adding the same amount of vodka and ginger ale, but is
>sparing with the ginger broth (about 1/2 a cup I reckon), telling us to save
>some for the next pitcher (alcoholism, yay!). She tells us she loves these
>cocktail glasses, but they look like wide wine flutes to me. Her choking
>hazard for this drink is a lemon slice. She tells us this mocktail goes
>perfect with the tangerine teriyaki ribs and invites us to check out her
>tablescape with some smart topiary ideas.
>
>SLop staggers a few feet away to the tablescape. It's so cluttered I cannot
>see anything, but I know there are no topiaries. We should consider ourselves
>lucky; she'd probably had stuck riblets into it as a sort of serving piece or
>something. She tells us how she hot-glued some rope into coils to use as place
>settings. These coils, btw, appear to be nearly one foot across and about an
>inch thick. She demonstrates how to glue the end of them down, nearly
>forgetting to remove the masking tape she put on the tip to keep it from
>unwinding and fraying, apparently. She warns us not to glue our fingers to the
>rope. Personal experience, perhaps? She stacks a large diner plate, salad
>plate, and tops it with a folded napkin that she used tiny clothespins to
>secure the edges together, because gawd knows she isn't capable of doing that
>right. Because everyone loves a cold beer, she and put everyone's beer bottle
>into a glass bug mugs with bottle openers hanging from the bottle with a
>leather shoe lace. She pimps her receipes on the FN site and closes out the
>show with a "Keep it simple Keep it sweet and Keep it smart". Heh.
>
>--
>WARNING!!!
>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
>
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289417 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 15:23 |
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The first thing I heard come out of her mouth when I got home (since I was
running late) was "I'monna masturbate these strawberries."
It all went downhill from there...
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289420 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 16:19 |
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userforum [at] ibi.com plagarized
:
> - WTF is with the stoopid cowboy boot vase on the windowsill?
>
> - The Kool Whip hit the bowl with a very audible "PLOP!" LOL
>
> - Great. Another "Tower Of Doom" dessert. Can you possibly stack that shite any
> higher?
>
> - Speaking of the dessert - whack-a-dough makes its comeback! Yay! And no lame
> piping bag 'trick', Snady? I guess the check from the Baggies people must have
> bounced.
>
> - The KA has found a new home I see. No longer banished to the corner.
>
> - All ingredients for the 'food' are carefully measured, but the booze? Free
> pouring all the way. Yep, that's our Sandy! *HIC*
>
> - Yeah - we're going to spend all of our time hot gluing rope - ROPE! - to make
> freaking PLACEMATS?! WTF? I'd rather save some work and buy them from
> Fidalgo's.....wait, check that...
>
Isn't copy-and-paste great? (this was pilfered from TWoP)
-andy
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289422 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 16:24 |
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penny.lester [at] resilientbiz.com stole:
> The first thing I heard come out of her mouth when I got home (since I was
> running late) was "I'monna masturbate these strawberries."
>
> It all went downhill from there...
Thief! If we want to read commentaries from TWoP, we'll go to TWoP.
-andy
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289435 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 17:35 |
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Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> The for that new show with Boobie Flay confuses me. If he is going door to
> doot challeneging people at cooking their specialty, why is there a scene in
> which he's saying something out loud like "I'm in over my head with this. I
> need some help"? That's not much of a contest if he gets to call in help, is
> it?
>
I believe the "throwdown" is Bobby vs. a CHEF. In that case, he
certainly might need help. Trust me, it's not a random
knock-on-the-door of any ol' ordinary person.
N.
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289444 ] |
Do, 13 Juli 2006 17:59 |
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In article <1152804924.911834.25180 [at] m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com>,
"Nancy2" <nancy-dooley [at] uiowa.edu> wrote:
> Ubiquitous wrote:
> >
> > The for that new show with Boobie Flay confuses me. If he is going door to
> > doot challeneging people at cooking their specialty, why is there a scene in
> > which he's saying something out loud like "I'm in over my head with this. I
> > need some help"? That's not much of a contest if he gets to call in help, is
> > it?
> >
> I believe the "throwdown" is Bobby vs. a CHEF. In that case, he
> certainly might need help. Trust me, it's not a random
> knock-on-the-door of any ol' ordinary person.
>
> N.
The ads clearly aren't hooking us. We can't even tell what the format
of the show is, except that it has Bobby Flay, which is NOT a drawing
point.
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| Re: Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Snadra Gets Grilled [message #289669 ] |
Fr, 14 Juli 2006 03:25 |
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> SLop next makes a vegtablew cru-detay by dumping some celery sticks into a
> bowl, and slicing a cucumber with a diagnoal cut to to make lonnng slices. She
> claims english cucumbers are seedless, but we can clearly see seeds in the
> slices as she cut them.
English cucumbers do have unfertilized seeds in them, but are still called
seedless.
Bobby had better not knock on my door, I do not like bumbling idiots other
than myself, in my kitchen :-)
JJ
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